Don't piss me off...wait a minute, maybe that's a good idea.

Monday night I was playing in a $5 3TT on party. My buddy, semajenski, calls me and says, "Let's get in the same game". We're hooked up and playing. He's drunk off his ass on Gentleman Jack and making hilarious comments on the chat bar. He's ripping one-liners to my table and we're having a good laugh. My table gets fired up and everyone starts ripping comments back at the two of us. I check the relative chip stacks. Semajenski and myself are dead last in the chips.

My buddy goes out in 13th because his girfriend puts him in a hand while he's draining the lizard. With the blinds at 75/150, I have 110 chips. There are 11 people left. We're on 2 tables. Some douche bag named jackitoff chimes in on my table. He tells me to put my 110 in so they can merry up and go the final table. Then he calls me a jack off! WTF?
I fire back and tell him I'm gonna kick his ass.

About three hands later I find myself with 2000 chips and some room to breathe. The comments keep coming from jackitoff totally unprovoked! He calls me a jack off at least 6 more times.

Long story short, jackitoff and myself are in a hand, he barely has me covered, I flop 2 pr, make boat on the turn, check it all the way, third club on the river and he bets 1200. I'm over the top all in. Here's the hand history and comments:

#Game No : 2821662273
***** Hand History for Game 2821662273 *****NL Texas Hold'em Trny:16307890
Level:10 Blinds (300/600) - Tuesday, October 04, 00:14:20 EDT 2005
Table 3 - Table(479188) Table #1 (Real Money)Seat 9 is the buttonTotal number of players : 4 Seat 7: Ed_Zackary ( $5180 )
Seat 9: HJBCCB ( $14380 )
Seat 3: RW3939 ( $5190 )
Seat 4: jackitoff ( $5250 )
Trny:16307890 Level:10Blinds (300/600)
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to Ed_Zackary [ As 2h ]
RW3939: nh
Ed_Zackary calls [600].
HJBCCB folds.
RW3939 calls [300].
jackitoff checks.
** Dealing Flop ** [ 8d, Ac, Ad ]
RW3939 checks.
jackitoff checks.
Ed_Zackary checks.
** Dealing Turn ** [ 2c ]
RW3939 checks.
jackitoff bets [600].
Ed_Zackary calls [600].
RW3939 folds.
** Dealing River ** [ 5c ]
jackitoff bets [1400].
Ed_Zackary is all-In [3980]
jackitoff: you got a boat
jackitoff: i got queen high flush
Ed_Zackary: jack off
jackitoff calls [2580].
jackitoff shows [ Tc, Qc ] a flush, ace high.
Ed_Zackary shows [ As, 2h ] a full house, Aces full of twos.
Ed_Zackary wins 10960 chips from the main pot with a full house, Aces full of twos.

jackitoff is left with 70 chips in the SB, I'm in the BB, hit my 7, and finish him off.
What's sweeter than that? Knocked off the last 2 players and took 1st for $45.
From now on, I'm encouraging the smart ass comments to get me cranked up and focused in.

Good luck to everyone and thanks for checking out my site,
Ed

Big, Big Score!! (Not what you think.....)

My buddy, Goldwing1999, says my site is sucking hind tit, so I thought I'd update just for him.

I played in the local CBC (chattanooga billiards club) tournament on Tuesday night. Scraped by with junk for almost the whole night. Only 1 kill, made 2 desperation all ins and found myself at the final table.

Final table had 6 players and 1 big stacked smart ass who decided to piss me off by mocking me.
The first hand hasn't been dealt. I've never seen the guy. He starts in with "OOoohhh, we got all the real poker players here now. (looking at my name tag) Ed's here....".

Here's the play between big stack smart ass and me:
Blinds 2000/4000
My cards Ac,4c
Flop: 5c, 6c, 7s
Smart Ass : Bets 6000
One call to my right.
I call.
Turn: 10s
Smart Ass: Bets 8000
Player to right folds.
I call.
River: 8d
SA: CHECK!!
I'm all in for my last 8000. He's contemplating....so I goad, " You don't have to call..". He calls and announces his flush, then turns over 2 spades??? The table corrected him. I announce my straight with my 4. He says it doesn't matter, he's got a flush...Check your eyesight buddy..My straight holds up to his mis-read.
Ed: 1 (and the chip lead). Smart ass: big stack cut in half.

Next hand between Ed and the smart ass:
I'm in LP with Kd, 6d and limp for the minimum 4K. (Nobody else came in, in front of me)
Small blind calls.
Smart ass in the BB calls.
Flop: 9d, 4d, 2d.
SB checks.
Smart Ass bets 8000.
I study long and make a slow call.
SB folds.
Turn:3s
He perks up in his seat and says "How much more you got over there...?"
He goes all in (I got him covered from the previous heads up).
I call.
He turns over pocket 4s for a set. I show my King high flush.
River: Qd
The crowd roars. Ed: 2, Smart Ass: parking lot.

I went on to knock out each of the remaining 5 players, making the kills, heads up against each and every one of them. It was my second time taking first place at the CBC, and they were nice enough to announce that I am in elite company since I am only the second person to win their tournament twice. (My new goal: to be the first 3 time winner.)

And now for the Big Score:
During the break in the tournament, I get up to stretch my legs. A hot, captivating, blonde chica (who I've been noticing from afar for the last 2 weeks) is standing behind me with her girlfriend. They're talking to one of the tournament regulars about a bad beat. Tournament reg. (wish i could remember his name) grabs me by the arm and starts telling me how he went down in flames. Everyone's laughing at his expense...hahaha, girls are hi-fiving each other...He gets serious for a second and tells the chica that I am a bona fide, stone cold player, one of the best in the area. We make small talk. Play resumes and I'm thinking about how I can get her number before she leaves.
Cards are dealt, time passes, I look around, and she's nowhere to be seen. "Damn", I think. Missed my chance.

Miracuously, I continue to scrape along and we all stand up to move to the final table. I look up and who's there? Blondie with a big smile on her face. She hung around after hearing about my play and there I am. My cards suddenly get scorching hot and I kill the table in dominating fashion. First Place. And the Big Score: I get her number and we're going out this weekend. SWEET!
And to the tournament regular that bragged me up, I got to buy that man a beer!
SWEET!