Reading Players Online: Possible?

Here's a snippet of my play from an MTT on party last night. Note the comments made by yours truly. I get the right read, make the all-in call, and get it handed to me as a 3:1 favorite...So Bad. (some comments regarding football edited)

***** Hand History for Game 2781800179 *****NL Texas Hold'em
Trny:16100465 Level:7 Blinds (100/200)
- Monday, September 26, 23:08:42 EDT 2005
(Real Money)
Seat 9 is the button
Total number of players : 7
Seat 1: Laying_Table ( $6732 )
Seat 2: ajpowel ( $1375 )
Seat 3: il2g4f ( $2642 )
Seat 5: moon1285 ( $2609 )
Seat 7: Ed_Zackary ( $7019 )
Seat 8: pumpking ( $6788 )
Seat 9: Deputydog51 ( $2835 )
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to Ed_Zackary [ Ac Kh ]
il2g4f folds.
moon1285 calls [200].
Ed_Zackary raises [800].
pumpking folds.
Deputydog51 folds.
Laying_Table folds.
ajpowel folds.
moon1285 is all-In [2409]
Your time bank will become active in less than 20 seconds. If you do not want it to be used, please act now.
Ed_Zackary: ace weak
Ed_Zackary calls [1809].
** Dealing Flop ** [ 4s, 4c, 8d ]
** Dealing Turn ** [ Qs ]
** Dealing River ** [ 7h ]
Ed_Zackary shows [ Ac, Kh ]a pair of fours.
moon1285 shows [ Ah, 4h ] three of a kind, fours.
moon1285 wins 5518 chips from the main pot with three of a kind, fours.
(with breaks)
Ed_Zackary: horse shi.t
Laying_Table: Vols gators or that last hand?
Ed_Zackary: the last
Ed_Zackary: hit 2 of his 3 outs
Ed_Zackary: at least i went in with it good
Ed_Zackary: called it
Laying_Table: u betcha

Smart ass comments any one?

A buddy and I were brainstorming for smart ass comments to say when you're about to hand somebody their traveling papers. I know this is bad etiquette, but for humor's sake feel free to chime in. Extra PP points if you really said it. Minus 3000 if you said it and got beat.

Here's a few we came up with / remembered:

*You better get out of the shower, cause I got a flush.
*I've got 2 pair, Kings and ..............Kings ( I actually said this)

and my son's favorite,
*I've got a 17 footer with a 90 horse Johnson, a live well, and a trolling motor. That's a small boat!

Speaking of dumbasses

making a call with a hand they don't belong in and sucking out.....

Here's the hand that put me out at the CBC today:
Blinds are 75/150.
I have QJ in the SB and limp in with 3 other players.
Flop is 9,10,6 rainbow.
I lead out and bet the minimum. One player folds.Turn comes Q. I'm all in for 5*BB. (yeah I was short stack) 2 callers and I'm worried about the real player to my left. River comes for a rag 4 and I think I'm locked up. Player to my left shows her 2nd pair and missed str8 draw. Douche bag across the table turns over his 2 pr, 4's and 6's..........wtf!! I said a few choice words. He responded by saying, "I had to make a move...." With what? a freaking made str8 possible on the turn and he calls with bottom pair???!!! What was he hoping for on the river? two more 6's ??? jeesh.. I definitely have him in my crosshairs.

Chattanooga area Live Games

The Chattanooga Billiards Club on Lee Hwy has a nice NLHM tournament every Sunday and Tuesday. The buy in is $15. The price of admission is actually for the buffet. The tournament runs 15 weeks. First place guarantees a seat for week 16. A top 6 finish in week 16 will win you a nice casino package. Not exactly the instant cash I'm looking for, but the last overall final week winner received a trip for two to Vegas and two $1000 buy ins. It's a nice venue and cheap practice for a live game. Since it's cheap, and they're serving drinks, you occasionally run into a dumbass that has no right calling down a hand that ends up sucking out. Somebody please tell me it's not like this in the higher stakes...

Bud's on Brainerd has a small tournament on Monday nights starting at 6:30. The buy-in is $15 with rebuys for $10 for the first hour. There is only about 30 people max in attendance, so I like my chances (compared to 150 people at CBC). Payout is cash to the top 4 or 5.

The Fox and Hound has a tournament running on Thursday nights. $15 buy in, not sure of the payout.

Charlie's in Soddy has a game on Tuesdays, $55 buy in with rebuys. First can bring in almost $3k.

The Holiday Bowl on Hixson Pike just started a tourney on Monday nights and I haven't made it down there yet.

Putters bar just off Hixson Pike has a game running 3 days a week with a cash payout. I think the buy in runs you about $25.

Dayton Rec. Center in Dayton has a game almost every night of the week. Buy in is $33 with rebuys for $30. It will run for about 3 hours and then another starts. Payout is cash for the top 4.

There are probably 20 other games I don't have listed here, so feel free to post a comment and list your favorite venue in the South East Tennessee or North West Georgia area.

Somebody bitch slap me

Currently I play on party and in some local venues. Here's a screen shot from a $2 tourney on 9-11. I'm still trying to figure out how I ran off over 500K to take 11th place....yuk (see title).

Yeah, yeah, i know the $2 is loaded with talent but i'm still learning. I'm waiting for a couple of top 5 finishes before i venture into the $20 and up tourneys. Besides, if you can't win in the $2....how are you gonna beat real players.

By the way, tomorrow is my 35th birthday so feel free to dump your chips this way.

Welcome to my world

Welcome to my blog. As an aspiring pro, I will attempt to keep an open forum for poker players. Content will be geared towards correct play (No Limit Hold em), tournament strategy, regional action, and occasional (very occasional) bragging about a big score.